No Longer Will The Scary Old Coffin Do...

The Vampire have changed over the last couple hundred years. No longer are they just part of the living dead. No. They are much more.  More than just blood sucking corpses.

They have respectable positions in the community. They contribute to order, hell, they even keep the other monsters under control.

You can debate the fact of whether you agree with this or not another time. Right now we're here to offer the the new and amazing line of 2012 daytime resting coffins. All coffins are available in limited quantities and by special order only. All orders must be paid in full prior to Midnight on December 31,2011.

Before I get started let me remind you that we do not offer warranties. All coffins are sold as is. This includes warranting the inner batting against blood stains.

Each Coffin comes with internal locking systems, meets fire resistance rating to class 125-8 thus keeping any vampire as safe as a bug in a rug. We also have ensured each coffin with ballistics security using UL 752, offering protection up to a level 6. This gives any vampire complete and total security until his montage takes care of the pesky intruder.

We understand that we live in a modern day, and it is nothing like it was hundreds of years ago. Vampires are much different now. You are now vogue; the socially cool, the sexually desired, today's modern day fetish.

With that you have an expectation to live up to. Not only must you be superior to mortals, but you must create and image and lifestyle that puts you with the elite, a modern day aristocrat. And that lifestyle must bode the most desirable everything, down to your daytime resting place.

So, without further ado, I present you with the most elite of 2012 coffins.

No longer are you expected to tolerate the dull and unsafe coffin of yesteryear.

Our first offer is product 1-700A, the premier coffin for the important vampire. No matter if you're a Sheriff, a King, a gorger, or an up and coming vampire; you deserve the premier coffin. Remember each coffin is available in limited quantities.

Our next product is 2-800C, a coffin for the more crazy vampire. If you are more vertiaclly interactive you need big yellow.

We also offer 7-6890, a special unit, a unit for the spacial minded, the active brain, and those newer vampires who cant seem to separate and unplug themselves from technology. This unit will move fast, so don't waste time in making your decision.

And finally with 3-More, we haven't failed to include a coffin for the newly acquired family, something with a little more room, or we'll just let you figure out how you can make this useful.

We also offer customized coffins built to your exacting specifications. Remember, it's not only important where you spend your daylight rest, but how you spend your daylight rest. Feel free to Contact your local Daylight Resting Coffins representative to take care of your needs.